I Was Tagged

I love to read these fun little facts on other blogs, but it wasn't as much fun having to come up with my own! I was tagged by Arizona http://www.peaceloveandvegetables.blogspot.com/ to list ten confessions/things about myself. I thought about this all day after she tagged me. Everytime I had a chance I thought, "What can I list?" Here goes:

1) I grew up on a farm. My older brother and I went to one of the ponds one hot summer day, stripped naked, made mud slides, and slid into the water. We snuck back to the house and cleaned up with a hose before we went back indoors. I don't remember how old we were - old enough to know better, but young enough that being naked didn't matter!

2) I used to be a tomboy when I was younger. I wanted to play with dumptrucks, be outdoors, and go everywhere with my dad. I was more of a princess from my teens into my late 20s. Now, I like to think I'm a fine blend of both!

3) I'm good at a lot of things. I can play piano and flute, but can only read music. I can read most of what is put in front of me, but can't improvise or create anything outside of what is black and white on the page in front of me. I can carry a tune vocally. I used to be athletic. I can make things, like crafts if I have an example to look at. I'm good at sales. I'm a good cook. I'm not REALLY good at anything though. I want to be REALLY good at one thing. I want to have a talent I'm known for.

4) I don't know where in the world these names came from, but when I was young I had a few nicknames I just don't understand. My brother called me Skunk, and my dad called me Stephanie Mayonnaise. ???????

5) I'm a rule follower. I read directions, notice signs...I follow the rules. I can't stand it when others think the rules don't apply to them.

6) I hate earwax. I am obsessed with cleaning my kids' ears. If I see any wax my finger is going in to get it out. When Vivian was wee little she would say, "Wak, Mommy." Wak for wax!

7) I used to fard in the car. Now I only fard at home.

8) I don't have favorites. If I have to list favorite food, color, etc. my list will be different depending on what I feel like at that time. I like too many different things!

9) I hate to shop for clothes. I find myself plain and boring, and therefore pick plain/boring clothes. I really hate trying things on.

10) I did not want to name our twins Angus and August. I really didn't want to use Angus, but it was important to my husband. It is a long family traditional name. August was my paternal grandfather and went well with Angus. Now that we have them, I can't imagine any other names suiting them, and it bothers me when people make fun of their names.

I'm supposed to tag someone, but I'm out of people for they've all been tagged as far as I know. So, continue the fun by leaving a comment in the comment section and I can learn something about you!

My Little Muppet

Do you remember The Muppets? Remember how funny looking their puppet mouths were? That's my little Angus post-op. The surgeon warned us of how bad the swelling would be. Yes, his lip is large and it looks like a muppet.

The surgery went smoothly, and the doctor was pleased. He removed the growth near his eye and the lump in his lip. Although the tissues will be sent to pathology, he said they appeared to be a dermoid cyst(eye) and a hemangioma(lip). He debulked the lip the best he could without causing any malformation. However, one can't tell how debulked it is at this point! It's VERY large and swollen.

Angus has been cranky, as is to be expected. We're controlling his pain with Tylenol. Some of his real frustration comes from the arm restraints he has to wear for five days to keep his hands away from his face. He's already starting to feel a bit better. He tried to smile a few times today and jabbered a little bit too. He's sleeping well. In fact, I have to wake him to give him his medicine throughout the night.

We're hoping he'll be back to himself for Christmas! He will still have some swelling, but at least he'll be free from the arm restraints by then. Yeah! Free arms to open presents :)

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Remember my Christmas card frustration last week? I nearly started over from scratch! I actually went into a scrapbooking store, had paper and supplies picked out to start over, then came to my senses! Nothing ever worked.....I was running severely out of time.....so guess what I did tonight? I emailed it! Now, unfortunately, not everyone originally on our card list will receive it because I don't have all of the email addresses. But, here it is for the blog world...Merry Christmas...a simple and heartfelt Christmas Greeting! And I've no clue how to make this any larger, so get out your magnifying glass!

It's a Hemangioma

The word hemangioma coming out of a 30 month old's mouth is just too cute! Funny thing is, she says it perfectly clear, with a slight emphasis on the o! Our little hemangioma boy is having his surgery this Wednesday, Dec. 19. The surgeon is a pediatric plastic surgeon at the Univ. of Chicago. He is a cleft palate specialist and a wonderful man from what we can tell in our meetings with him. He will be "debulking" from the inside of the lip, so there won't be an external scar. He will also be removing what appears to be a dermoid cyst. It is located in the corner of his eye/bridge of nose area. There will be scarring there, but being in plastics the dr. will help us work with that to minimize the scar as much as possible. Angus is a tough little boy - he'll wear his scars well! Someday I'll have to post a picture of his first scar(from his bowel surgery while in NICU). It's a tough guy scar!

We have to be in Chicago by 8:30 a.m. not too bad. We were originally supposed to be there by 7, but they bumped his case back. I'm upset by that, because the poor thing can't eat past midnight. He can have water/juice until 7, but nothing after. It will be a long ride to the hospital, as Angus is passionate about his food, especially that morning bottle.

I'm a nervous wreck, as is to be expected. I hate having him put under anesthesia again, intubated again, and in any kind of discomfort/pain. His doctor said that Tylenol should cut any pain post-op, but there will be a lot of swelling. So, for those who will be seeing us soon, I'm told Angus will look like he's been in a boxing ring. How's that for his first Christmas pictures?

Please keep Angus in your prayers, his surgeon and team, and us/his family. I'll provide an update as soon as I can after the surgery.

Oh Christmas Card!

Oh Christmas Card! Why do you so frustrate me?

I started early this year - very early. I started this project in October. I spent hours playing around and trying to figure out some digital scrapbooking software Rich gave me for Christmas last year. I knew what I wanted the card to look like, and I played around long enough to get it looking somewhat like I wanted. Guess what? It's not printed and nowhere near mailing. My mission is not accomplished, NOT because I wasn't organized and didn't have a plan. My mission is failing because I can't get the silly thing to save correctly, so I can have it printed at an office supply store. I need it saved as a PDF. The directions are simple and I've followed them to a T....multiple times. Nowhere can I find my saved PDF. I took the advice of the tech at the printing store. I saved it as a JPEG and took it in for a sample print, only to find the quality of the photos/words compromised from the compression of the file. WHAT? All of the hours I invested and the fun I had creating the card are now nothing but pure frustration! I think my only option at this point is to try and print it myself, which I know is not going to happen. #1 I don't have anymore time #2 It will take WAY too much ink . So, here's my other thought. I checked with Martha Stewart. Not really, but she covered this on a show I was listening to on my satellite radio a few days ago. She said it is completely appropriate to send a holiday card via email. I'm thinking about it. Right now my sample print copy is on the island in our kitchen. It stares at me everytime I walk by, and I stare back, give it a glare with my eyes and secretly stick out my tongue. I can't let the frustration of this card win. I have to get it out to some of the original recipients to feel my mission was accomplished. This was supposed to be fun! It started that way, but now I continue to sing, "Oh Christmas Card! Oh Christmas Card! Why do you so frustrate me?"

Breakthroughs

The little lightbulb in Vivian's head is beginning to click....I think. For now it is anyway, and I'll take that! She has been sleeping very well in her big girl bed. We had a long period of multiple night wakings and difficulties just getting to bed. It was awful. For the last two weeks she has gone to sleep happily and has slept peacefully through the entire night. Yippee!

The second breakthrough is a wonderful step in the direction of progress. She has been telling us when she has to go potty, and then having success once there! She quickly conquered going pee pee when we first started training her. Pooping has been a challenge, as is to be expected. We went through a period of stool holding/constipation, back to diapers, on to a pull-up, to present day with no potty accidents for...well I can't remember when she last pooped in the pull-up! Yippee again! You will never meet a two year old as well versed on constipation as Vivian is. She can tell you what foods and drinks will help you go potty, and appropriately asks for something when she feels she needs it.

She's on the road to success. I know we'll experience bumps along the way, but for now these are big breakthroughs. I'm so proud of her! And SHE is proud too!

A Quiet House

Holy cow! This is something I haven't experienced for quite some time. I usually hear, "Mommy, hold you," repetitively. "Mommy, I want sumpin'." "Waaaaa, Waaaaa." For now, the only sounds I hear are: Christmas music playing, the tick-tock of the Grandfather clock, an occasional whistle from one of the birds downstairs, and the purring of Doci Gatto, the cat, who is so cozily curled up by my side. Whatever do I do with this peaceful quietness?

I'll blog. I'll cozy up in the living room next to the Christmas tree. I'll drink my now twice reheated raspberry latte that Rich made a few hours ago. I'll gaze out the windows and watch the last few leaves, which are clinging to the trees, as they sway back and forth in the wind. I'll sing along with "Emmanuel, God With Us," and other Christmas tunes. I'll seize the moment, as these moments are rare. I'll look around, take deep relaxing breaths, close my eyes, and be thankful; Thankful for my many blessings in this life, and forever grateful for the challenges and fears overcome in this last year; Thankful for those who helped us through; Thankful for the miracles who are nestled in their cribs; Thankful.

It's quiet in the house. Rich took Vivian to see Santa. The twins are sleeping. I've decided to do nothing. Nothing, which turns out to be a huge something, as I never get this peace and quiet time. Sigh.

Elf Yourself

This is cute! These little elves have some moves! The first elf looks a lot like August, and the last looks like Vivi making a silly face. You can create your own Elf Greetings at this site:
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1219811708

5 Things About Me

This is kind of fun. I've received it from family members, so thought I'd post it here. I will look forward to hearing back from you!

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1. classifieds editor for local newspaper(college)
2. waitress/bartender
3. elementary teacher
4 sales rep.... ok 5 jobs.....MOTHER!

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED.
1. my childhood farm in MO (Home Sweet Home)
2. KC, MO (LOVE it MISS it)
3. St.Louis, MO (hated it...bad move decision)
4. Illinois (I'm stuck..met my husband here :) )

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Good Italian/pasta
2. Thai
3. mashed potatoes/gravy
4. chips/salsa from a Mexican restaurant

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW!
1. With my whole family...see you soon!!!
2 Vacationing somewhere right on the water, where they row breakfast right up to your room.
3. Cuddled in bed with my husband and children.
4. With my friend, JMR, and our kids.

FOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. My new computer love - blogging and meeting new blogger friends!
2. Scrapbooking - I'm still a beginner even though I started about four years ago! I never have time. Will I ever finish what I've started?
3. Music. Playing the piano, which I haven't for some time now. Or, listening to and singing along with favorites.
4. I like to clean. Crazy, and it isn't a hobby, but it has to get done. I love to vacuum! Something about the marks it leaves on the carpet, I don't know?

Angel Kisses

Remembering Lily, our angel niece and cousin

Stillborn, December 6, 2006

For My Sister:

What Makes A Mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to God today. I asked what makes a mother; And I know I heard him say: A mother has a baby This we know is true. But God, can you be a mother When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can, He replied With confidence in His voice. I give many women babies; When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime And others for a day. And some I send to feel your womb; But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this, God I want my baby here! He took a breath and cleared His throat, And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you What your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile With other children and say...

"We go to earth to learn our lessons Of love and life and fear My Mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here. "I feel so lucky to have a Mom Who had so much love for me; I learned my lesson very quickly, My Mommy set me free.

"I miss my Mommy oh so much But visit her each day. When she goes to sleep, On her pillow there I lay. "I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek And whisper in her ear; "Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."

So you see, my dear sweet one, Your children are okay. Your babies are here in My home, And this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you, with Me Until your lesson there is through, And on the day that you come home They'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a mother; It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of Right from the very start. Though some on earth may not realize, Until their time is done. Remember all the love you have And know that you are a SPECIAL MOM!

Really? Already?

How can my babies be nine months old already, yet it seems like weeks ago when we were hanging out in the NICU? And how can my once little 3.8lb Angus be doing this?

Oh, I'm such a big boy!Whoa...I need my shoes on. This floor is slippery.Ouch. That hurt. I think I'll take a short break. No, Mommy, I won't smile either.Time for Daddy to lower my crib, ASAP!

Dinner Conversation

You can't get much past Miss Vivian. We're constantly impressed with the level of her verbal expression as well as her attention to detail. We change words in stories, only to hear her laugh and correct us. We sing songs and hear her join along, quite in tune for a two year old too. She's sharp. She's hysterically funny. And although her 30 months challenge us to the limits, she's our darling princess.

She wasn't into dinner tonight. I'm sure she was full from eating popcorn with Daddy. Then, she snacked on cauliflower/ranch dip while I was cooking. We had chicken mirabella, cauliflower with colbyjack/pepperjack cheese, and spinach salad with a homemade vinaigrette. The chicken is marinated in capers, olives, prunes, olive oil, garlic, and balsamic. Then, baked until cooked through. I gave her a small serving...very small. If she wanted dessert she had to clean her plate. The dinner talk went something like this:

V: I can't like this chicken.
Me: It's like chicken nuggets minus the breading. It's delicious.
V: I want to get down. I can't want to eat.
Daddy: Vivian, if you get down I'm taking you up to bed. Are you ready to go to bed?
V: No. I can't want to go to bed.
Daddy: Eat your dinner, or you're going to bed.

She begins to eat a few bites.
V: It's Spiiicy.(long drawn out i) (the cauliflower)
Daddy: Vivian, eat your broccoli. (He didn't realize he said broccoli)
V: Daddy, it's NOT broccoli! It's cauliflower!
Daddy: Then, eat your turkey!
V: It's not turkey, it's chicken!

She soon finished most of her dinner, and we went on to giggle over changed words in stories, and off to sleepy land. What a gem!

Snowflakes That Stay On My Nose and Eyelashes...

brown paper packages tied up with string. These are a few of my favorite things! Are you singing along yet? Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. La dee da da dee dee la dee da da dee. AZ from peaceloveandvegetables inspired this post when she gave a list of her favorite things...kinda like Oprah does on her show. I was thinking today that I never have much to blog about. So many random thoughts go through my mind, but I never feel they are blog worthy. Then some topics, for which I could use some blog therapy, are probably best left unsaid in the blog world. BUT, the favorite things struck a cord within my heart. So here goes. These are a few of my favorite things in no particular order...with a Christmas twist. Tis the Season.

1. My Willow Tree nativity. My parents have given me different pieces to the collection the last several Christmas'. It's beautiful and I love it.

2. Santa Claus'. Another gift from my parents...maybe a new collection?3. Cozy fires in the fireplace. We have enough firewood to last forever, since we had to cut some of our trees down that had died. We haven't had one yet this year, but they are a winter favorite of mine. I love the crackling of the wood and the dance of the flames. 4. This bell was given to me when I was in college. It didn't mean much to me then. It was a beautiful bell that played "Silent Night." It's still a beautiful bell that plays "Silent Night," but holds more meaning in my heart than I could ever express. It was given to me by my brother and his wife. He has been deceased for nearly 13 years, and every Christmas season I have my quiet and tearful moments winding this bell and listening to the sounds of "Silent Night." The purchase of this Lenox bell some 20 years ago never knew what meaning it would now hold. 5. Fischer Price Nativity Set for the kids. It's adorable. It plays "Away in the Manger" and they can play, chew, and slobber all over them. Or, as Vivian is doing, hoard all the pieces from her brothers, as she does not like their slobber on "her" things.
6. My parents put SO much thought into the gifts they give. This is a piece of another collection they have given in the past. I didn't set my Christmas Villages up this year. They take a lot of time and then I would also have to worry about the kids/cat/dogs knocking them over. I don't have a lot of pieces, but the ones I have all have special meaning. I have a school, which was given to me to represent my college and teaching days. I have a farm to remind me of where I grew up. There is a church, given to me the Christmas I was married. Then, this piece. It's called Bringing Home the Tree. They gave it to me in 2001, when I had my first REAL tree. I have some accessory people and trees. I also have a few fall pieces. 7. One of my favorite ornaments is this. Rich and I bought it the year we met - 2001. We liked the two pine trees swaying together....once lonely pines who had found each other. I've written on the back: 2001 The first Christmas of "us."8. Christmas lights. Our house looks so pretty with lights, but I don't think they'll get displayed this year. It's a big job and Rich just doesn't have time this year. It rained all day yesterday and today, so I don't know that we'll get lights in the trees/shrubs either. I do love when our neighborhood is all aglow. Beautiful.9. Christmas cards. I love sending and receiving them. I'm a card only gal. Pictures ok, but I'm not a huge fan of the Christmas letter. 10. Yummy Christmas cookies. I'd love to have a day off work so I could bake, bake, bake! My favorite are traditional sugar cookie cutouts with a simple glaze frosting. I do intend to make some with Vivian. If you do a cookie exchange, did you know that they have these wonderful food safe boxes and tissue to make your presentation of the cookie gift pretty? They have them at Michaels from the Martha Stewart line. There you have it. A few of my favorite Christmastime things.

Weekend Mission

almost accomplished! Christmas decorations, although completed on a limited version this year are displayed. Check. Weekly cleaning routine, done with my little elf by my side while the twins napped. Check. Christmas card printed....not yet. I'll have to save it to disk and take it somewhere this week. I created it weeks ago - added pictures last week - and now have to print it and send. Yeah! I feel great and accomplished so much!

There was a slight delay to the start of my Saturday morning, however. Friday night before I began blogging "What To Do," my husband had volunteered to do kitchen cleanup. Take a peek at what I awoke to bright and early, aside from my children's bright smiles.

YUCK! A mess in the kitchen really isn't pleasant to awaken to for me. It clutters my mind. If things are not clean and in there place my mind is disorganized and nothing gets accomplished. For those of you who like the flylady....I'm with you on having a shiny sink to greet me first thing in the morning! So, my morning was a bit delayed, but all worked out wonderfully. Rich said he was waiting for me to unload the dishwasher first. He hates that job. Not that I enjoy it, but it has to get done! A bit of teamwork helped the mission get accomplished. He cleaned up, as he had volunteered to do, and Vivian and I began the housework. Ta da.